


.. to the next universe.

by xoxoxo333



Category: SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Even has bad boy vibes, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Motorcycles, Sassy Isak, Sexual Content, Strangers to Friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-05-18 07:08:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14848076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoxoxo333/pseuds/xoxoxo333
Summary: Isak blinked his eyes open and stared annoyed at the person next to him. There, next to him on the street stood a tall, slim boy sitting on a black motorcycle."Are you dreaming?" the boy asked with a deep and unfamiliar voice, brightly grinning at Isak.Isak furrowed his brows and rolled up the window until it was completely closed. He saw the boy laugh and wink at him, whereupon Isak glared and held out his middle finger.Or Isak thinks Even is just a stupid bad boy until they meet more often and each of them tells the other more about his life, his secrets and fears.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this for a while and here is the first chapter! There will be a few scenes from the spanish movie 'Tres metros sobre el cielo' but its a different story <33  
> Here you go ♥

Isak overslept. Okay, probably because he practically didn't sleep last night at all. But why? It's inexplicable to him.  
  
Isak was always on time. He has his schedules. Never late to bed, at least eight hours of sleep. (Well, _most_ of the time, not always. But he really tried.) But last night he turned back and forth countless times. Like he was excited for today. Like he's a child who couldn't sleep all night because it's so excited about its birthday or something. _God._  
  
Yes, it was his last year of school and he was a little afraid not to go through it the way he intended. But he had these thoughts all the time and not just since last night. So what the hell happened? What day was that?  
  
It was inexplicable to him.  
  
"Isak!!"  
  
Isak stopped his thoughts when he heard his mom knocking on his door. _Wonderful fucking Monday to me._  
  
"Isak, get up or you'll be late!"  
  
"Jesus..." he mumbled and ran his hand over his face. "I'm coming!"  
  
When he gathered his clothes and took his way to the bathroom, it was locked. Of course.  
  
"Lea, unlock the door or use your own bathroom for once" Isak groaned. _What was that with this morning?_  
  
"Give me ten seconds!!" a bright voice echoed on the other side of the door. Isak exaggeratedly dropped his head backwards, looked at the ceiling and began to count loudly.  
  
"One, two, three, f.."  
  
Suddenly the door opened with a fast swing, so Isak had to swerve automatically. "What the—"  
  
"Sorry, I thought you had been already in the bathroom" Lea said innocent, "But obviously you overslept."  
  
"Yes, obviously."  
  
"Couldn't you sleep well?" Lea asked and her frowns between her brows were deep. Too deep, Isak thought. She shouldn't worry so much about him.  
  
"What- No, I- I slept well." Isak said. "Don't worry about it"  
  
That was no lie. He slept well while he was actually asleep. Lea didn’t have to know that he turned back and forth for a while. It's not important anyway. It's just his senior year and that meant that he has to apply to the universities with the certificate, which means the pressure is extremely high this year and he has to make an effort. And thus slept a little more restlessly. Whatever.  
  
"I still don't understand why you got the bigger bath" Lea said while she was combing her hair.  
  
Isak snorted.  
  
"Well, I think because _this_ bathroom is next to my room. So, that makes just sense."  
  
Lea stared at him and pouted dramatically. "But there's just more room here and you don't need it! There's literally only stuff here from me!"  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes. "What I haven't even allowed you to—"  
  
"Whatever, I'm done and you have .." Lea looked quickly at her golden watch on her tiny wrist, "exactly ten minutes until Jonas will show up."  
  
Isak was shocked. "Fuck, what?? That's not enough time!"  
  
It was enough.  
  
And he was still fascinated by how quickly you can get ready under forced stress. How fast you can get things done that you normally waste so much time on if you don’t hurry.  
  
“You look a little sweaty and kinda.. flushed?” Jonas laughed as he steered the car out onto the road.  
  
"I overslept" Isak shrugged and dropped his head on the window next to him.  
  
Jonas blinked in surprise. "What? You overslept!?"  
  
“Don’t ask." Isak mumbled and clicked on the buttons in front of him until he found a song he liked. Radio music is probably one of the worst things ever.  
  
When he looked back at Jonas, he rolled his eyes. "Stop worrying. It's not the end of the world for me to oversleep. I mean, there are worse things.."  
  
Jonas stared at him for a moment, then cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Isak. But you know you can always talk to me, right?"  
  
And if Isak knew something for sure, that was it. So he offered Jonas a smile and nodded.  
  
"Yes. I know that."  
  
Jonas smiled back, but had his eyes on the road. “God, that I can still experience this. That you overslept. Just, wow.”  
“Oh, shut up” Isak laughed and Jonas joined him.  
  
It was a warm morning, so Isak carefully rolled down the window until it was half open. Or half closed. Optimist against pessimists. Isak knew that he was a realist and therefore the window was half open, because the normal state of a window is "closed" and therefore the closed state is the normal state.  
  
Like every morning there was a lot of traffic. Everybody wanted to go to work or school.  
  
When Jonas stopped the car in front of a red light, Isak turned to the window and closed his eyes to enjoy the light wind when someone suddenly knocked on the window and Isak flinched.  
  
He blinked his eyes open and stared annoyed at the person next to him. There, next to him on the street stood a tall, slim boy sitting on a black motorcycle. He didn't even have a helmet on, Isak noticed.  
  
"Are you dreaming?" the boy asked with a deep and unfamiliar voice, brightly grinning at Isak.  
  
Okay, he had to admit, this guy looked incredibly good. But no, not this morning. He definitely didn't get enough sleep for that. So, Isak furrowed his brows and rolled up the window until it was completely closed. He saw the boy laugh and _wink_ at him, whereupon Isak glared at him and held out his middle finger.  
  
"Isak, it is 7:30 in the morning." Jonas sighed beside him when he started the car again.  
  
Isak didn't care. "Better focus on the street. There's a lot going on this morning."  
  
He took a look to the right, but saw that the motorcycle was no longer next to them, probably turned to another road.  
  
This guy really winked at him. _Who the fuck tries to flirt with someone through a car window?_  
  
-  
  
"First day of school and I’m already fucking exhausted." Magnus moaned as he threw his tray on the table where Isak, Jonas and Madhi were already eating.  
  
„We're all in this together, man“ Jonas huffed and took another bite from his burger.  
  
“What about you, Isak? Have you already decided which university you want to go to after this year?“ Madhi asked, and Isak breathed a loud sigh.  
  
“Don’t start. My mum stressed me the entire last evening about it. This last year is so important.. “  
  
“Yeah Isak, but you're one of the best here so don't get too stressed.“ Jonas said carefully.  
  
„In the _last_ years yes, but now we are in the final year and no teacher cares how good your grades were in the past years.“ Isak muttered. „I have to work fucking hard."  
  
Jonas nudged his shoulder gently. “You will. Fuck, we will. But let's focus on Saturday first.“  
  
„Can’t make it“ Magnus said with his mouth full of food and Isak frowned at that sight.  
  
„Yeah me too, sorry.“ Madhi said, and Jonas hopefully looked at him. Isak snorted.  
  
„I’m comig. Julian already offered to pick me up so..“  
  
Jonas raised his eyebrows „Seriously? Is that a date or what?”  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes. “It's not a fucking _date_ ,” he hissed. “He just offered to drive with him."  
  
„Yeah, okay. But Julian is pining after you, you know that?”  
  
Isak rolled his eyes. “Even _if_ he is, I'm not fucking interessed.”  
  
“Good. He is a fucking snob and boring” Jonas muttered and Isak couldn't help but laugh. Yep, maybe Jonas was right about that.  
  
Magnus cleared carefully his throat, “Yeah.. but so is Isak too?”  
  
Jonas and Madhi burst out into laugher while Isak throwed a fry at Magnus.  
  
-  
  
The party was loud and definitely too crowded, but Isak was still here and listened to Julians endlessy talking.  
  
"Our new teacher is simply a disaster. It was only the first week of school and he has already embarrassed himself so much. If he keeps this up, the whole class will soon lose all respect for him. And he also said that..."  
  
Isak just nodded to whatever Julian was saying. To be honest, he didn't really listen anymore. He knew Julian and knew that he would keep on talking, no matter if Isak showed his fullest interest or just nodded.  
  
Sometimes it became too exhausting but today Isak had promised Jonas to come along and well, now he was here. In the middle of a house party with all the familiar faces around him, except Jonas'. _Where the fuck was he?_  
  
Isak let his eyes wander unobtrusively over the present party guests but did not find what he was looking for.  
  
"And in our math class we have a woman as our teacher! How's a woman supposed to teach us math? I mean okay she studied that, but I think in terms of logical thinking and communicating to us students, maybe a man would be better suited."  
  
Isaks frowned and turned his eyes back to Julian.  
  
"God, this has nothing to do with the gender,” he snorted. “Guess what, I have a man in my math class and he's a total moron."  
  
"Okay but..." And then Julian stopped and stared at the door, where suddenly a group of guys with black jackets entered. He narrowed his eyes, "Did Emma invite them?"  
  
"Don't know", Isak mumbled. He didn't even look more than a second at them because he couldn't care less. "Back to you, generalizing the methods of teaching of the _so_ bad women."  
  
Julian laughed and waved him off. "Stop being so seriously all the time, Isak. It's whatever"  
  
"No, I mean, I used to have that discussion with Magnus once, and it's not just.."  
  
"Hey again" said a deep voice next to them.  
  
Isak turned his head and oh god, really? _the motorcycle boy_  
  
"How was your day?" the boy grinned, a jacket thrown over his shoulder.  
  
Julian's head snapped immediately to Isak. "Do you know him?" he frowned.  
  
"No." Isak immediately said.  
  
"Of course he knows me. You look hot by the way." the boy smirked. "Just like this morning or maybe even a little hotter. All glowing." he smiled and winked.  
  
Okay, that’s probably the same bad pickup line as through a half-open car window in the morning.  
  
"Do you want to get out of here with me?"  
  
Isak furrowed his brows. No one could take that seriously, right? Isak turned away, but the boy kept going.  
  
"Wow, you're as stiff as a board," he laughed and Isak scowled at him.  
  
"Who the fuck are you?" Julian snapped, "Are you even invited?"  
  
"I'm Even" the boy said, eyes coldy at Julian.  
  
"Wonderful" Isak muttered, and Even shot his head back at him.  
  
"Do you want a drink?"  
  
Isak stared down at his beer. "I'm fine, thank you." he said finally, still narrowing his eyes. "So, could you maybe go back to your _gang_ and—"  
  
Even raised his brows. "My _gang_?"  
  
"Fucking god," Isak sighed and took a sip of his beer, "This is like some bad american high school movie while you are the guy with all this bad boy vibe" he gestured with a finger up and down Evens body.  
  
" _Bad boy vibe_?" Now Even was laughing and Isak was about to explode because it even sounded nice.  
  
"Piss off," Isak growled "it is true and—" then, suddenly, he felt his phone vibrating. _Shit_ In a few seconds he pulled it out of his pocket and unlocked it.  
  
"Lea?"  
  
"Isak we'll be home in thirty minutes!!"  
  
Isak frowned. "What!? Why so early?"  
  
"The show was shorter than expected," Lea said quietly.  
  
"Shit, shit, shit. Okay! Okay, I'm coming" he said hastily and hung up.  
  
"I have to go" he said to a very confused Julian. "Could you maybe drive me?"  
  
Julian's eyebrows rose, "Sorry but I already have drunk a few—"  
  
"Right, right. Um, I'm gonna find Jonas and yeah. See you at school" Isak said, waved awkwardly and finally left. He walked towards the stairs, bumping into other people and asked a few of them if they know where Jonas was. After a few awkward hugs and small talks he learned that Jonas had been with one of _these_ guys.  
  
_Oh, God. Please not._  
  
Without hesitation Isak ran through the house and went to one room after the other. Fortunately he was lucky on his second attempt and yes - here was Jonas. Making out with a boy Isak had never seen before.  
  
He carefully cleared his throat, "Uhh."  
  
Jonas turned away from the other mouth and gave Isak an amused look. "Hey, you alright?"  
  
"Yeah sure, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going home."  
  
"Oh. Already?" For a moment there was silence. Jonas looked briefly at the guy next to him who raised his brows, then back to Isak, who stood helpless in the doorway. "So.. should I drive you?"  
  
The guy next to him loudly sighed and looked annoyed at Isak. "Don't you have a car of your own, blondie? You don't look like you're lacking something" he said and Isak glared at him. _Pfft_ As if making out with some stranger were more important to Jonas than his best friend.  
  
"Can you shut up?" Isak hissed and turned his attention back to Jonas who looked quit happy.  
  
"He is hot" he mouthed silently and Isak rolled his eyes. But god, Jonas looked so happy and he deserved all _this_. Isak wouldn't take that away from him.  
  
"Yeah uhm. You know I'll find someone who will drive me." Isak said. He didn't want to screw this up for his best friend _only_ because he had to go home. But of course Jonas protested against his decision.  
  
"No, Isak wait..."  
  
But then..  
  
"I'll drive him" said a familiar deep voice Isak never expected to hear again.  
  
Jonas frowned. "Who are you?"  
  
"That's Even, my best friend" the guy next to Jonas replied, widely smirking at Even. Finally Isak turned around to raise his eyebrows at him.  
  
Even just smiled at him. "I'll drive you. It's no problem."  
  
And as much as Isak wanted to deny and contradict him, he knew that if he won't agree, Jonas would have driven him. But Isak didn't want to drag him with him now. Now, when he's enjoying himself. Jonas has always done everything for him. So, he could do something for Jonas now too.  
  
"Yeah Jonas, I'll drive with him" Isak said and offered Jonas a little smile.  
  
Jonas gave him a look that said: "You sure?"  
  
At that Isak simply nodded and waved him off. "See you!" Then he left and hurriedly ran down the stairs and finally out of the crowded house.  
  
And of course, Even ran after him.  
  
"So.." Even started but Isak held up one hand, the other holding his phone to his ear. "Shh," he shushed him. "Yes, hello I need a cab at- yeah okay I wait"  
  
Even laughed. "You really want to order a taxi on a Saturday night? Good luck"  
  
Isak glared at him. "I'm definitely not going with you!" he hissed and then the man on the phone spoke again. And in fact, none taxi was be available for the next forty minutes. _Well, fuck._ Forty minutes were far too long. He would never have a chance to get home in time.  
  
Isak hung up the phone and looked up at a wide grinning Even.  
  
"Let me guess, I was right?"  
  
Isak rolled his eyes and finally sighed, "Fine."  
  
Even smiled. "Ask me."  
  
"What?" Isak's brows furrowed.  
  
"Ask me to drive you."  
  
"What?" Isak snapped. This strange boy certainly didn't deserve that Isak will _beg_ him. So, he took a few steps back.  
  
Even laughed and shook his head once, "Okay, never mind," he said and walked in front of the garage and sat on a motorcycle, eyebrows raised. "Come on. Jump up." he finally said, handing Isak a motorcycle helmet.  
  
Isak hadn't been on a motorcycle for a long time. Not for three years. Although it had always constantly twitched on his skin surface. He defeated his inner voice and tried to suppress the urge. But somehow he didn't have the strength now. He was tired. Tired of repressing, tired of exertion.  
  
Isak eyeed Even carefully until he slowly approached him and took the helmet. Then he cleared his throat, "And you? I mean.. do you have a second helmet?"  
  
Strangely enough, Even smiled so wide that you'd think he'd won something. Isak didn't understand it.  
  
"At home. But that's okay."  
  
Isak bit the inside of his cheek and climbed carefully onto the motorcycle, just behind Even.  
  
They were quiet for a moment before Even broke the silence, with a carefully voice "You okay?"  
  
Isak nodded. "I'm fine," he mumbled quietly and at that, Even started his machine.  
  
It was a nice ride.  
  
Isak looked at the lights flying by next to him. Were they stars? Or streetlights? houses? He didn't care. There was a cool wind, but he wasn't cold. A few tears collected in his eyes, but he felt no hurt or sadness. Instead he felt lighter. He felt liberated.  
  
_The last time was way too long ago._  
  
But why now? Why exactly now? For someone else? For Even, a boy he'd known for a day? Or rather, to prove something to himself?  
  
-  
  
When he got off the motorcycle and handed Even carefully the helmet, he added quietly, "Thanks for the ride".  
  
Even gave him a little smile, so Isak turned around to walk away.  
  
"Will I see you again?" Even called out and Isak stopped but didn't turn around.  
  
"I doubt that."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Isak sighed, finally looked back and then, at that moment a car came around the corner and a few moments later his mother and then Lea got out.  
  
"Isak?" his mom looked alarmed, "Why aren't you inside? Is everything okay?" she asked and yeah, he had already expected this questions.  
  
"I'm fine. I was with Jonas."  
  
It seemed as if his mother didn't even listen to him at all, because she just stared at Even.  
  
"Okay, then go in now, Isak."  
  
Since this situation was more than unpleasant, he looked only briefly at Even and then turned around to walk towards the entrance door.  
  
-  
  
"So how did you end up home yesterday?" Jonas asked when he was lying next to him on the floor. God, he knew Isak too well. He knew Isak wouldn't just ride home with some stranger. And then with a motorcycle..  
  
"Even drove me"  
  
"You said that" Jonas laughed, "but what is the truth?"  
  
"That's the truth."  
  
Jonas blinked, "What?"  
  
Isak awkwardly shrugged. "Yeah, Lea called and I really wanted to go home on time, so..." he said and felt himself lightly blushing. _God, was is this?_  
Jonas nodded, but still looked sceptical. After a pause, he continued. "Well, his friend is actually kind of cool, you know."  
  
Isak huffed, "Who? The one you made out with?"  
  
"Mikael." Jonas corrected, "I talked to him at the party for a while longer and yeah.." he said while he looked up at the ceiling and smiled stupidly.  
  
"God," Isak scoffed, "You like him."  
  
"Maybe" Jonas grinned.  
  
"Jonas..."  
  
"So I'd like to meet him again tonight and you have to cover for me."  
  
Isak paled. "No! No, no, no. We're not doing that!"  
  
"Isak, come on. Would I do that for you? Definitely yes"  
  
And _yes_. As much as he wanted to, Isak couldn't disagree with Jonas. He could always rely on him. Jonas was always there, no matter what happened. Isak often wondered why he had earned someone like him at all.  
  
And although Isak was a real asshole sometimes, Jonas was still there. He never left him. So, when he looked hopefully at Isak, he just couldn't help it.  
  
"Fuck," Isak sighed dramatically. "Okay, fine. I'll cover for you. But don't make me regret it."  
  
Jonas' expression lighted up and then Isak knew that it was worth it.  
  
-  
  
"I still can't believe that _Even Bech Naesheim_ drove you home last night! I mean, god!!"  
  
Lea was once again in Isak's bathroom to put on some makeup for a party, while Isak lay fully dressed in the empty bathtub and read a book. Jonas was with Mikael at some "secret" place and Isak had to cover him. Jonas assured him that his mother wouldn't call, but she did. Twice so far and none of the times Isak had answered, because what could he tell her? If she wanted to speak to Jonas, Isak couldn't logically get him to the phone, because he wasn't fucking here.  
  
And of course he couldn't reach Jonas on his phone, because he was with Mikael and—  
  
"How did this came up?" Lea asked. "I mean, was he just there offering it to you or what?"  
  
His sister was curiosity in person. Isak shrugged, unbothered. "Yeah, something like that."  
  
Lea raised her brows, "And you just said yes? I mean, since when did you get so casual? That spontaneous? What happened?"  
  
Isak put down his book and glared at her.  
  
"You called me and I wanted to get home as soon as possible so I just took the next chance I got, okay?"  
  
"Okay, okay." Lea held up both of her hands defensively. "But do you know he's one of the most popular guys here in Oslo? Everybody's literally running after him, but so far he had only one relationship. Sonja or something. But I think they were only together for a few month or so. He often hangs out in that place where all this motorcycle races take place."  
  
"Wow," Isak laughed. "Do you also know if he's married or divorced yet? Or if he already has children?" he asked, obviously sarcastically.  
  
Lea shrugged, "As far as I know he lives with his brother and his parents live far away. I don't know the exact reason for that either but I—"  
  
_Okay, she didn't get it._  
  
"Okay Lea, stop. You don't have to tell me everything about this _Even_. I don't care, and _you_ also shouldn't care what a strange boy is up to. I mean, who gave you all these informations about him anyway?"  
  
Lea looked at him through the mirror in disbelief.  
  
"What?" Isak asked and narrowed his eyes. Lea laughed and concentrated further on her eyelashes. "I think I'm just good at stalking people."  
  
"Yeah," Isak admitted, "you could work at a fucking intelligence agency or something."  
  
Lea chuckled and finally turned around. "So, how old would you guess me? I mean, with the make up and everything?"  
  
Isak tilt his head. "I don't know. Like 15?"  
  
Leas face falled immediately. "But I am 15!!"  
  
"And?"  
  
Lea rolled her eyes. Then, suddenly, Isak's phone rang again. And yep, it was Jonas' mum. _Again_.  
  
_Fucking god_ He didn't want to. He _really_ didn't want to, but what choice did he have?  
  
"Lea, where exactly is this place where Even and his friends always are?"  
  
-  
  
It turned out that this secret place was at the end of the harbour. Isak walked slowly into darker and darker alleys, along lots of graffitis and construction site scaffolding. And then finally he was in the middle of it. Dozens of people were here. Many on motorcycles, many simply in groups. Standing, sitting. Just enjoying their time.  
  
It was a meeting place for _so_ many people and Isak felt totally overwhelmed.  
  
Then he spotted Jonas, who was already running towards him. As he finally stood in front of Isak, he looked him in the eyes with concern. God, Isak hated seeing Jonas like this. Always so worried.  
  
“What are you doing here?" Jonas asked, totally out of breath.  
  
"You said your mother wouldn't call. But she called me three times, Jonas."  
  
"Shit, what did she say?"  
  
"I didn't answer. I mean, she'd never believe you're asleep right now."  
  
Jonas sighed. "Good."  
  
Isak glared at him, "No. Here is nothing good. I tried to reach your phone but you didn't answer and now I'm _here_." Isak said and took a quick look at his surrounding, then back at Jonas.  
  
Jonas looked guilty. So fucking guilty.  
  
"Fuck I'm sorry, Isak. Listen, they do motorcycle races here and—"  
  
"I know," Isak interrupted. "Lea told me already."  
  
Jonas blinked. "What? Then why did you come here?"  
  
Isak didn't answer, because he didn't have a good answer. Instead he watched the people around him. Their laughter, their carelessness.  
  
"Shit, I shouldn't have told you where I was. I mean..." Jonas was literally squirming.  
  
"Jonas, it's okay. Really, don't worry. Let's just go now."  
  
When Jonas wanted to say something, suddenly Mikael came running. "Hey, everything alright?"  
  
Jonas' expression softened but Isak glared at him.  
  
"Why do you always pout? Jealous that this one is all mine from now on?" Mikael asked and put an arm around Jonas' shoulders.  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes and was about to say something when suddenly a motorcycle stopped right behind him and a familiar voice spoke up again. Isak turned and there was Even. Even on a motorcycle with a girl behind him that clung her hands firmly to his hips. _Of course_.  
  
"Hey baby, what are you doing here?" Even smiled and Isak was just about to say something, when somebody interrupted him.  
  
"So, you are Isak?" the blonde girl asked, her forehead wrinkled. _What the actually fuck?_  
  
Isak gave her a look. "Do you have a problem with that?"  
  
The girl laughed. "God, you don't just look like a child, you _are_ a child."  
  
"Fuck off" Isak hissed. Then a loud voice rang out.  
  
_'Get ready, the race is starting now'_  
  
The girl grinned and then grabbed Isak's snapback to rip it off of his head.  
  
"Hey!!" Isak shouted but the girl didn't look at him. She took her belt off her pants and sat backwards, back to back with Even.  
  
"You better go home, Isak. It's definitely too dangerous for you here" the girl smiled and pulled the snapback on her short, blond hair.  
  
"She's right. You shouldn't be here," Even said, briefly gave Isak an almost worried look and finally drove away.  
  
And if there was something that Isak hated, it was when someone told him what to do. He stood there for another moment until he hastily pulled his belt out of his pants.  
  
"Isak, don't" Jonas said but there was already a guy in front of them, eyebrows raised and staring at Isak.  
  
"You wanna drive with me?"  
  
"Sure." Isak said and jumped on the backspace, hands around the boy's hips. "It's okay, Jonas."  
  
Jonas looked at him in panic but slowly nodded at him.  
  
When all participants were at the starting line, everyone sat in the right position and put the belt around themselves and their driver. Beside them so many people cheered but Isak faded them out. He was fully focused on what was about to happen. He tried not to panic and did even better than expected. He wasn't afraid. He was pleased, even if that was wrong. It was idiotic but he felt something like anticipation.  
  
"I'm William, by the way" said the boy who was driving the motorcycle. Isak did not answer him, but looked around and saw directly into Even's blue eyes. He was next to them and looked sternly at Isak. And then someone blew the whistle and he immediately was jerked backwards.  
  
It was fast, too fast. But oddly enough, Isak didn't mind. It was far more dangerous than his usual, previous rides in the past, but Isak was less afraid. He didn't care much about what just happened. He felt nothing. It was like an anaesthetic. A numbing sensation.  
  
Even was almost the whole ride beside them, adrenaline shone in his eyes. William kept turning left with the goal of ramming Even's motorcycle, but Even always dodged at the right time. Even though it was loud, Isak could hear how William cursed. He increased his speed. More and more and finally, just after Even, they drove over the finish line, past a cheering crowd.  
  
When they stood still again, everyone was out of breath, flashed, pumped full of adrenaline, but Isak was quiet. God, his mother would be disappointed in him.  
  
He got slowly off the motorbike, didn't even give the slightest glimpse to the blonde girl or Even and just walked to Jonas, who stood a few meters away from him.  
  
"Isak are you—"  
  
"I'm fine but I won't do it again. It was stupid."  
  
After Jonas called his mother, Isak went home. He was kind of relieved. Relieved that he had dared. Relieved that he had allowed himself this short moment, the feeling of floating.  
  
When he finally went to bed, his phone lit up and he immediately turned it on.  
  
  
**Anonymous number**  
  
You were very brave today. Brave but also reckless  
  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes.  
  
**Isak**  
  
Who's that?  
  
**Anonymous**  
  
The man of your dreams  
  
  
Isak had a hunch, no, he was sure who the message came from. _The next bad pick up line._  
  
He breathed out a quietly laugh and was about to send a "Piss off, Even" back but before he started typing, he was overcome by a tiredness that had been appearing for hours, and he fell asleep with his phone on his chest, right where his heart was laying.  
  
-  
  
"So, how was Emma's party?" Magnus asked on Monday when they walked from the parking lots to the school.  
  
"Well.." Jonas turned around to walk backwards and gave Magnus his biggest smile.  
  
"Omg, you hooked up??" Magnus cheered and Jonas nodded, his smile widened.  
  
"Wow nice!! I mean, the last time was a long time ago, right?"  
  
"It's not like you can't live _without_ any hook ups." Isak snorted and Madhi laughed.  
  
"So I guess, Isak didn't get some." Everybody laughed, except Isak.  
  
"Ha ha. Better than depending on anything or whatever.."  
  
"It was for sure just a hook up and not some life changing moment, Isak. Don't be so dramatic." Magnus said and Isak gave him a scowlful look.  
  
"Well, it was kinda... life changing" Jonas mumbled and blushed. _He fucking blushed!_  
  
"What?" Magnus and Madhi asked at the same time and then Jonas explained them the whole story with Mikael.  
  
Isak knew the story, so he didn't listen. He thought about his next school subject and tried to recall all the important informations for it. He was about to ask questions to himself as he felt his phone vibrating in his jeans. He pulled it out and of course, a text from Even.  
  
  
**Fucking Even**  
When will we meet again?  
  
**Isak**  
Unfortunately I can't look into the future, Even.  
  
**Fucking Even**  
I mean, when are you coming back to our place?  
  
**Isak**  
I don't get back there. It's not my thing, not my area.  
  
**Fucking Even**  
What's your thing then? Feeding bread to ducks in the park?  
  
**Isak**  
Certainly not. Besides, bread is very unhealthy for ducks. It swells in the stomach and contains too much salt. It's like fast food for them but a lot worse. To be precise, they can die from it.  
  
**Fucking Even**  
Seriously?  
  
**Isak**  
Seriously  
  
**Fucking Even**  
But they always literally attack bread? Doesn't that mean they like it?  
  
**Isak**  
If you put chips and a salad in front of a child, they would rather eat chips too. Doesn't mean that's the healthier choice. Ducks eat bread, but you don't do them any good with it. So if you want to feed them, you better use oat flakes or sunflower seeds.  
  
**Fucking Even**  
God  
  
**Isak**  
What?  
  
**Fucking Even**  
You are an angel.  
  
**Isak**  
Shut up!!  
  
**Fucking Even**  
You have a heart for ducks. That makes me so weak, oh god  
  
**Isak**  
Stop it, Even  
  
**Fucking Even**  
So cute  
  
**Isak**  
*middlefinger emoji*  
  
  
When Isak took out his books from his locker, he noticed Jonas was looking at him from the side. He literally drilled into his skull so Isak turned around and raised his brows. "What?"  
  
"Mikael wants to meet us at the park for lunch." Jonas said, brightly smiling.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't worry, Even is coming too."  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes. "And why would that make me feel any better?"  
  
"Come on," Jonas grinned "You have to admit, at least he doesn't look bad. Well, visually speaking."  
  
Isak snorted and slammed his locker shut.  
  
_Not bad._ Probably the understatement of the century. Even looked like a fucking model. Like he just jumped out of a stupid fashion magazine.  
  
When he finally looked up at Jonas, he was already smiling fondly at him, "He seems also be very nice. Maybe you'll get along and become friends? I mean that wouldn't be a bad idea, wouldn't it? But it's okay if you don't want, because of course I don't want to talk you into anything you don't like. You know that. I just want you to be happy."  
  
Isak wanted to say something mean, he really wanted to. But he couldn't. He knew Jonas meant it. That he meant it when he said, 'I want you to be happy.' Jonas was not the selfish one. That would actually be more Isak's part.  
  
Well, maybe this time Isak could _try_ and make it up for Jonas.  
  
Besides, he'd be alone otherwise. Magnus and Madhi had not always lunch with them, because they weren't in their class. They were only with them for lunch once in a while and today was of course such a day when they were not.  
  
But most of the time, Isak was glad about that. They were just schoolfriends and Isak didn't want to give them the impression that he wanted to hang out with them _all the time_. Once you start, people expect more and more and Isak couldn't do that at the moment. It would be too distracting and also too exhausting, as Isak didn't like to drop his walls completely in front of others.  
  
Except of Ben. He'd always told Ben everything. Everything, without any exception.  
  
It was complicated.  
  
"And," Jonas smirked, "you can get to know Mikael a little bit more and then you don't always have to stare at him like that."  
  
Isak glared at him and thought for a moment about just going to the library during the lunch break, _alone_.  
  
-  
  
He went _not_ alone into the library and was now sitting with Jonas and fucking Mikael and Even on the grass in a park near their school.  
  
Next to him was Even, smoking a cigarette. Jonas and Mikael lay a few meters beside them, legs intertwined. No matter how many people sat and lay here too. _Gross_  
  
Even lit another cigarette. _How many was that now?_ Isak didn't know. There was as much going on here as usual, but it was quiet between him and Even. Isak didn't mind the silence, he even enjoyed it. So when Even cleared his throat and turned to him, Isak feared the worst.  
  
"So, you're going to school with Jonas?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nissen?" Even laughed. "You are going to Nissen, right?"  
  
"Yes," Isak said briefly and looked away again. _Does he have to ask Even what he's doing, too? Does he have to pretend to be interested? Fucking exhausting._ Isak took a sip of his waterbottle, "And you?"  
  
Even smiled. "I used to go to Bakka, actually"  
  
_What a surprise._ Isak couldn't help it and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, somehow I figured that" he muttered and heard Even laughing beside him.  
  
Isak turned his head sharply back to him, "What?"  
  
"It's nothing, just.. you are so directly, but it's okay, it's cool. I like it." Even said and smiled.  
  
Isak stared at him.  
  
_If you would knew what I think but don't say._  
  
"So, are you going to university?"  
  
"No, I'm not.." Even sighed, "but that's another story"  
  
It was the first time that Isak had seen Even thoughtfully, if not sadly. Sure, he'd only seen him four times but still Isak didn't like this sight.  
  
Even's eyes sparkled less and he had his head slightly bent forward. Isak felt a little guilty for even asking his last question and he couldn't have that.  
  
Sure, Isak's one of the most annoying people which, he was sure, made a lot of people upset or even angry. But _sad_. Isak didn't want anyone to get sad because of him.  
  
He cleared his throat, "So you are taking a gap year. I think that's chill" Isak tried and made an effort not to study Even's face too conspicuously. And as he hoped, Evens face lit up immediately.  
  
"Yeah, maybe" he replied and smiled at him. Then he took a drag off his cigarette and blew the smoke into the warm air in front of him.  
  
Isak couldn't help it and smiled during the process. Yes, he was a little proud of himself. He made Even sad at first but could finally turn it around and _that_ definitely counted as a success for him. He mostly had trouble interacting with people. Especially with people he hasn't known for long.  
  
"So" Even said quietly, "do you agree that these two are really gone for each other?" he asked and tilt his head to Jonas, who was pressed to Mikaels side.  
  
And well, Isak couldn't disagree with Even. He's never seen Jonas so happy. Sure, he's been in love before, but he never looked at somebody _so_ intensively. Even though he was in love.  
  
And he _was_ in love. Jonas never played anything, never. He was like an open book, which unfortunately many people felt as an invitation and then didn't shy away from it in order to take advantage of it without harm.  
  
So, yes. He could say Jonas was happy.  
  
"But it's ridiculous, considering how short they known each other. I mean, not for _that_ long time, you know." Isak huffed out a laugh.  
  
Even smiled. "As long as I've known you."  
  
"Exactly." Isak agreed. "And that's way too short to be gone for each other or even falling for each other, right?" Isak glanced back to Even and saw that he was smirking, his eyes brightly shining. For a long moment Isak was lost in a color of a bright blue.  
  
Then, suddenly Even was shaking is head, quietly laughing. "You are unbelievable, Isak Valtersen."  
  
Isaks brows furrowed. "Me? They are!" he said, nearly shouting, pining his eyes back to the two lovebirds opposites them.  
  
"What are we, Isak?" Jonas asked and got up to walk to him.  
  
"You two are ridiculous" Isak said while Jonas was laughing and Mikael glaring at him.  
  
"How can you be friends with someone like that?" Mikael asked and Isak's skin burned.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Jonas started laughing and patting Isak gently on his back.  
  
"He's fine once you get to know him" he smiled, but Mikael was just snorting.  
  
"Ugh" Isak said while he stood up. "I think I gotta go back"  
  
"Yeah, I'm joining you" Jonas said and quickly ran to Mikael to gave him one last kiss.  
  
Isak looked briefly at Even who was still smiling, his eyes still sparkling in a bright blue. _These eyes. These fucking eyes._  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo, yeah. that's the beginning!! I don't know when I will update next..  
> I don't know either if people still enjoy fanfics because many walking away from this fandom, what makes me so sad because I love them too much <3
> 
> Well hope you liked it <33  
> tell me what you think, no matter what it is!


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii <3
> 
> Finally I’m back with the second chapter! 
> 
> Thank you so much for your feedback on the first chapter! It means a lot and I was really happy that this universe is interesting for people <33
> 
> I hope you like this chapter as well! Enjoy :))

Jonas didn't stop raving about Mikael and Isak didn't stop rolling his eyes. While they were doing endurance exercises in sports class, Jonas ran beside him and Isak was about to strangle him. Now he had to deal with this topic at school too? Wasn't his free time enough already?  
  
"Did you actually give Even my phone number?“ he asked at some point.  
  
Jonas gave him a look, “Sure, who else?  
  
Isak was amazed at the simplicity with which his best friend told the truth. He didn't even try to deny it, as if it were quite self-evident.  
  
„Jonas! Why do you just give him my number without my permission??“  
  
"God Isak chill, it's Even“  
  
"Yes it is, that doesn't make it any better. He keeps spamming me with memes." It wasn't quite true, it was maybe one or two memes but Isak didn't care. His statement was clear.  
  
Jonas sighed, "Is it really that bad? You love memes!“  
  
Isak frowned, "I do but—„  
  
"Even is really okay, why is it so hard to write with him a little bit?“  
  
"But if I just don't want to?“  
  
„Jesus Christ," Jonas suddenly sighed and Isak followed his gaze across the gym, but couldn't find anything suspicious.  
  
„What?"  
  
"Julian looks at you all the fucking time. I really think he's serious.“  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes. "Why do our conversation topics consist almost only of guys?“  
  
"You know," Jonas smiled, "I'm sure it would do you some good. You know, some dick.“  
  
Isak groaned and ran faster.  
  
-  
  
Meanwhile he sat in the cafeteria and had the most unnecessary discussion ever. The answers to this question were always so obvious but Jonas didn't want to believe him.  
  
„Okay, if i were omnipotent for a day I would want world peace, no more hunger and good things for the rain forest. I mean, obviously.” Jonas said. “What about you Mahdi?”  
  
“Clearly I’d make myself omnipotent forever.” Mahdi grinned and took a sip of his coke.  
  
“See,” Isak sighed “there is always one guy ‘if I had one wish I’d wish for three more wishes’ ”  
  
Jonas bursted out into laugher while Mahdi was glaring at him. “So, what about you Isak?”  
  
Isak went silent. Suddenly he was back in that dark place.   
  
_I’d wish that he were alive. I’d wish that he would come back to me._  
  
Jonas glared at Mahdi, who now looked guilty. Suddenly there was an unwelcome tension in the air that Isak didn't like. But he couldn't shake it off or go on with another subject. Whenever it went to this one special topic, his head and his body was like turned off. He was paralyzed.  
  
A moment later Magnus jumped on a seat next to him and Isak would have gladly jumped around his neck because of his gratitude.  
  
“Hey Magnus, what would you do if you were omnipotent?” Jonas asked and Isak smiled grateful at his best friend. He knew that Jonas had noticed the short unpleasant silence as well.  
  
However, if Jonas had already known the answer to this question, he would certainly not have asked it..  
  
“I’d probably kill myself” Magnus simply answered and left Jonas with his mouth slightly open.  
  
“ _What?_ ” he asked appalled, but Magnus only shrugged and pointed between his legs.  
  
“If little Magnus is dead then I got no reason to live”  
  
Isak shutted his eyes. What the fuck?  
  
“Oh man..” Jonas sighed and buried his face in his hand.  
  
“ _Om nipotent_ , Magnus.” Mahdi laughed and Magnus narrowed his eyes, and suddenly looked frightened.  
  
“Oh my god Mahdi, _you are??_ ”  
  
Isak got up, “I gotta go. I have to uh.. be somewhere else.” Seriously, why was he friends with these people?  
  
„Wait Isak, can you help me?“ Magnus asked and Isak now was nearly on wanting to choke him here in front of all the pupils. But Magnus sounded urgent and while Isak was already half turned around, his body betrayed him and he turned full back around again.  
  
„With what?“  
  
„Math“ Magnus mumbled while pointing a finger at a book in front of him.  
  
Isak bent over to look over Magnus' assignment. Then he frowned, "You didn't fill out anything. This is practically a white paper, Magnus."  
  
But Magnus was quick to defend himself.  
  
„I know!! I don't get it, so I asked you to help me!“  
  
For a short moment Isak looked at him in disbelief. But Magnus kept looking helpless, so yes. He was really serious. When he noticed Isak watching him, he sulked dramatically.  
  
„Ok, no," Isak finally came to a decision. “I'll help you with upcoming questions, but I'm certainly not doing your damn homework!“  
  
Magnus sighed, "It's just so illogical“  
  
Isak rolled his eyes. „Math is literally one of the most logical subjects in school. Besides physics and—“  
  
„Okay, okay, I got it“ Magnus groaned while Mahdi was quietly laughing, his eyes hefted on his own book.  
  
Jonas was smiling at his phone, and Magnus was nearly crying now. So Isak had almost no choice. He rolled his eyes, “God, just push it over”  
  
Magnus' eyes lit up and he put his book into Isak's hands.  
  
„But," Isak said with raised fingers, "Don't think that this will bring you anything for the future. Only those who have learned and understood it themselves can use it in the end.“  
  
Magnus smiled at him and nodded all along, but Isak knew that he hadn't understood a word Isak just had said and was just happy that Isak finally let himself be beaten to do his damn duties.  
  
-  
  
After school Isak was lying on the couch. Finally. School was hardly bearable today. Even spammed him with some new meme's and he couldn't even learn in his lunch break because he had to teach Magnus the basics of their math lessons.  
  
Now he was finally alone with sweatpants and his physics book and could devote himself to his tasks, in silence and without distraction. His mother was working and, as always, came home in the evening.  
  
Isak had just read three pages when Lea came through the door and casually spread out next to him on an armchair. And of course, of course, she had her phone on her ear and talked loudly to her interlocutor as if Isak wasn't even there.  
  
Isak tried to ignore her and instead concentrate on the written words in front of him until…  
  
„And you know what, Isak's been seeing Even lately!!"  
  
At his’ name, _Isaks_ name!, he looked up from his book and shot a glare at his sister who was widely grinning at him.  
  
“Yeah, Even Bech Naesheim! Isn’t that cool?” she said happily. “I know! I don’t know, but I will ask Isak if he could ask him”  
  
Ok and at that, Isak decided that was enough. He stood up and took the phone away from Lea's hand.  
  
“Hey!!”  
  
“Stop telling your friend everything I do!” Isak groaned and actually wanted to disagree with her and tell her that he doesn't really meet Even, but that would be a lie. Mikael used every free opportunity to see Jonas and strangely enough Even was almost always there too.  
  
“Jonas is with Evens’ best friend and that’s why I see him from time to time, you know. I’m not seeing him because I like him or whatever.”  
  
Lea rolled her eyes. But then her face was undecipherable and she looked nearly sad. “Isn’t he nice though?” she asked and sound so innocent like that. It always broke Isaks heart a little when she was so soft and full of expectations that all people are good.  
  
Isak quietly sighed and slumped back at the couch.  
  
„Why don't you tell me? You know everything about him without even knowing him.“  
  
Lea laughed. „I heard that he is really nice, you know.”  
  
Isak just snorted and he returned to his book. He could not argue with his sister, because she was right. Since he met Even, he was without exception nice to him.   
When he looked up at her again, Lea was smiling.  
  
-  
  
The next day Isak had history in the first lesson. He hated this subject. It's not that it's particularly difficult. However, it was Isaks' worst subject and he was aware that it was because it was too easy. You could usually just memorize the material and that's not a challenge for him, so he just didn't learn it at all. To his disadvantage, because it was his worst subject after all.  
  
Moreover, Isak has to admit that it was pointless to learn something that was in the past. He was more in the here and now. He was more future-oriented. He was interested in new scientific discoveries, which diseases have not yet been researched and—  
  
His vibrating phone got him out of his thoughts and he cautiously took it out of his pocket, hopefully unnoticeable for his strict teacher.  
  
And of course it was Even with one of his other unfunny and totally stupid memes. He just snorted and shook his head. He really is a dork, god.  
  
"Mr. Valtersen, can you perhaps answer the question for me?“  
  
Isak looked up and saw the raised eyebrows of his teacher. Fuck.  
  
„Well?" his teacher asked again.  
  
Isak knew he had no chance to answer anything intelligent, so…  
  
"Sorry, I was just— It wasn’t— could you maybe repeat the question?“  
  
"I could but I won't. If you would turn your attention to your classes and not to your phone lately, you would know the question.“  
  
Isak sighed quickly but nodded. But to his' regret, his teacher wasn't finished yet.  
  
"We are one of the most respected schools and you know that. Your parents didn't pay so much money that you can enjoy yourself here. I know that for your future you need a flawless certificate, so pay attention." he almost hissed.  
  
The class became so quiet that Isak was afraid that one could hear his heart beating in his chest.  
  
Slowly the teacher turned around again and Isak breathed out relieved. The students around him no longer looked at him, and fixed their glances forward at the blackboard.  
  
Only when his eyes landed on his best friend, he saw that he was smiling brightly. He raised his brows and Jonas patched him a paper ball that he quickly caught and hid in his hand.  
  
He unfolded the paper and read... " _You were smiling!!_ "  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes and looked up at Jonas again and now he even smirked. Isak rolled his eyes and shook his head slightly and mouthed a quiet "I didn’t".  
  
But no matter what he did, Jonas kept his wide smile for another few minutes and Isak was annoyed for the rest of the lesson.  
  
-  
  
When they spent their lunch break in the park again with Mikael and Even, Isak noticed that Even was staring at him all the time. He almost looked worried. What was his problem? When Isak met his intense gaze for the third time, he turned away and tried to use his break to eat and perhaps start a conversation with Jonas.  
  
But of course Jonas was busy with his boyfriend. Mikael always seemed so serious, but when Jonas snuggled up to him, the little wrinkles on his forehead would fade and it seemed as if he could finally relax. He looked so happy with Jonas in his arms that Isak lowered his gaze again.  
  
From the perspective of his right eye, he could feel Evens eyes drilling into his temple again. He turned to him.  
  
"What?" he asked maybe a little too hysterically.  
  
Even looked at him for a moment. "Why so pissed today?“  
  
Isak rolled his eyes and God, for how many times today? Finally he took the last bite of his sandwich and shrugged. He would certainly not tell Even about his incident at school. Admitting that he was distracted by his stupid message and—  
  
Suddenly he could hear Jonas sighing loudly, "Isak got a speech from our teacher today just because he couldn't answer a question. And that was because—„  
  
"Because I didn't pay attention." Isak finished the sentence quickly. "And since I didn't hear the question, I could logically not give him the answer.“  
  
Even looked thoughtful.  
  
„So..."  
  
"So, he will treat me differently now." Isak deadpanned. "Probably he will give me worse marks and will fuck up my whole future." he said annoyed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
  
„Dramaqueen" Mikael mumbled and Isak glared at him.  
  
"You know, maybe it won't be so bad." Even said calmly and Isak looked into his blue eyes, which strangely reassured him more than he would ever admit.  
  
"Yeah", Isak said. „Maybe.“  
  
Maybe. But maybe not. Probably not, Isak was sure. Isak knew that his teacher would treat him differently. Even if it was only a small mistake on his part, it shouldn't have been. Not if you wanted a certificate with only the best performance.  
  
"You're thinking too much."  
  
Isak turned around hastily and saw Even with a little smile. He stared at him in disbelief. Why did Even have to interfere all the time? Now even in his thoughts?  
  
"You don't know me." Isak scoffed.  
  
"You're right, I don't," Even smiled. "But I would very much like to.“  
  
_Why?_ Isak wanted to ask, but he forced himself to stay quit.  
  
He emptied his water bottle and slowly made his way back to the school building.  
  
-  
  
When Isak just came back from the bathroom to his room the next morning, Jonas suddenly lay on his bed. And although this wasn't the first time on a weekday, Isak was totally startled.  
  
"God" he said as he slowly calmed down and closed the door behind him, "you haven't waited for me in my room for a long time. Especially not now that you have your own car. So impatient to see me?“  
  
Jonas laughed, „I was a little early.“  
  
„And here I thought you weren't gonna get much sleep now because your boyfriend's keeping you permanently awake.“ Isak snorted.  
  
„Well, he—“  
  
„Don’t,“ Isak warned. “Please don’t tell me about the sex you two have, Jonas.”  
  
Jonas laughed brightly and nodded. “Noted.”  
  
Isak searched for his books and finally stuffed them into his backpack.  
  
“Isak?”  
  
“Mh?”  
  
“Don’t laugh, okay?”  
  
Isak shot him a look. “I don’t make any promises.”  
  
Jonas went still for a second but then, “I think it was love at first sight.”  
  
And, _Jesus Christ_ , his friend was such a sap. But Isak didn’t laugh, he tried to stay calm and serious.  
  
“Do you really believe in this bullshit?” he asked flatly.  
  
“Well, I didn't before I met Mik but now..” Jonas looked thoughtful. "Tell me what you think“  
  
And at that, Isak snorted loudly. If he's asked to be honest, he wouldn't like anything better now.  
  
“Well, I think you are ridiculous.”  
  
Jonas rolled on his stomach, brightly smiling. “Even believes in love at first sight too, you know.”  
  
“Well, then Even is also an unbelievable romantic sap. Like you.” Isak simply said and grabbed his jacket from his wardrobe.  
  
When he looked at Jonas again, he was still smiling, nearly grinning, and Isak wondered if he'd get a muscle ache for that later from all that smiling.  
  
“What?” Isak finally asked, irritated.  
  
Jonas shook once his head and stood up. “You are hopeless.” he said and Isak frowned immediately. “What do you mean?”  
  
Jonas laughed, opened his mouth to answer but then Lea ran into the room.  
  
“Jonas!!” she screamed and pulled him in a tight hug.  
  
“Hey little one” Jonas said, rubbing gently her back and smiling at her. And yes, Isak smiled too because he loved to see them like that. He loved to see them nothing but utterly happy.  
  
Lea stepped back and pouted. “I haven’t seen you in ages!!”  
  
„Yeah, I know“ Jonas laughed, “Sorry about that but I have a boyfriend and yeah..” he was smiling and blushing and Isak thought this was enough love, butterflies and flowers for one morning. So he dragged his best friend practically out of his room and down the stairs to his car that they could finally go to school.  
  
“I hope I will meet him soon” Lea was calling after them but Isak just waved at her while Jonas was giggling beside him.  
  
-  
  
Isak had afternoon classes today.  
  
Jonas was already at the harbour with Mikael and just sent him a picture showing his outstretched feet and the sun burning brightly on the horizon. Isak’s excitement grew and he was happy to finally leave the school building and lie in the grass too.  
  
When he finally placed his books in his locker after his last lesson, a body leaned casually against the wall next to him. He turned slightly and looked into familiar eyes. Julian.  
  
Isak huffed relieved and smiled at him. "Hey man“  
  
„Hey," Julian happily smiled back. "have you finished?“  
  
"Yes," Isak sighed and put his last book in the locker before slamming it shut, "this day literally seemed like eternity to me.“  
  
"So..."  
  
Isak noticed Julian tensed up next to him. He saw a few pearls of sweat on his forehead and how his fingers rubbed against each other nervously. Was he all right? The last thing Isak wanted now was to get sick.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked carefully and at that Julian smiled instantly.  
  
"Yeah, yes. I um- do you wanna hang out? Now?" he asked shyly and Isak wondered why he was acting so weird all of sudden. "I mean we both had a hard day behind us and would at least deserve to spend the rest of it well, right?" Now he smirked and Isak exhaled a relieving breath.  
  
"Yeah absolutely that would be cool, but I kinda promised Jonas I would meet him, so, maybe another time?“  
  
"Oh," Julian frowned slightly but then continued, "Sure, yeah. Looking forward to it“  
  
Isak smiled, "Me too. So, see you tomorrow?“  
  
Julian nodded and finally Isak turned around and made his way out of the school building.  
  
-  
  
When he finally arrived at the harbour, he was relieved to find Jonas after a short look around. And even though he was surrounded by Mikael, Even and some other people, Isak didn't care.  
  
Here at the harbour there was always so much going on. Skaters, motorcyclists. And even if Isak often found crowds unpleasant, he didn't even care about them here.  
  
As he walked towards them, he heard loud music from far away. However, he could not yet decipher the interpreter.  
  
When he finally arrived, he sat down unceremosly next to his best friend, who was for once not lying in his friend's lap. Jonas smiled and Isak's slightest tension was immediately released.  
  
After a moment he let himself fall backwards and supported himself from the ground with his elbows. He scanned the surroundings and came to the conclusion that it was actually quite cool here. He noticed more now in the middle of the day than in the dark of night. Obviously.  
  
Isak could even imagine relaxing here if the music weren't be so loud that it was almost impossible to think of anything else. He turned to Mikael.  
  
"Could you turn it up a little bit? It's not annoying yet.“  
  
Mikael sighed, "You have to take all the fun out of me, huh.“  
  
"Don't you know Nas?“  
  
Isak turned around and saw a confused Even in front of him. Nas? _Nas?_  
  
"Do I have to?“  
  
Even laughed, „No but it's a cool rapper and—„  
  
"You don't say," Isak interrupted him. "I'm sorry I'm not so familiar with your gangster-rap and th—„  
  
"Okay, okay, stop!!" Even interrupted while he was laughing. "Seriously, stop. If not, I can't guarantee anything about Mikael.“  
  
Isak looked at Mikael, who gave him deadly looks.  
  
"With some people, as soon as they talk, I have the spontaneous need to throw a brick in their face. But I never have one..." Mikael grumbled and Isak scoffed. Then he turned back to Even who held up both of his hands defensively.  
  
"You are a real barbaric people.“ Isak finally mumbled.  
  
Even laughed again, but this time, with shining eyes. Isak suppressed his smile and then lay down completely, his eyes closed, and enjoyed the warm sun on his skin.  
  
-  
  
The next evening Isak sat at the dining table with Lea and his mother and they had dinner together. The last few weeks their traditional dinner meeting was no longer so steady as their mother works longer and longer.  
  
But Isak didn't want to complain. He had no problem eating alone. Or just with Lea. He suspected that his mother wanted to distract herself. He is firmly convinced that she no longer misses Isak's father, but she has arrived at a phase in which she wants to plunge into work in order to feel even more independent. And that's okay.  
  
"Lea, drop it. We don't discuss it anymore.“  
  
"But all my friends are going!“  
  
"I don't know this girl, so you're not going to her party until I've even seen and met her. End of discussion“  
  
Lea pouted and continued to eat, defiantly.  
  
"So," his mother started. "who was that the other night who drove you home?“  
  
Isak felt his mother eyeing him, so he just shrugged. As if he would say: "Nobody who would be worth mentioning". But a few seconds later someone ruined his plan.  
  
"Even Bech Naesheim" Lea mumbled quietly and Isak and her mother looked at her at the same time.  
  
"You know him?" his mother asked a little shocked.  
  
Lea nodded, reached for the plate of potatoes. She looked into her mother's eyes, confident of winning something here. "Everyone knows him," she said easily.  
  
But their mother was too smart for this game. She wouldn't make a scene here if they were all sitting together at the table. Especially not when Lea had intended it so obviously.  
  
She didn't let any feelings show and just pointed to Lea's plate, „Eat."  
  
After dinner, Lea quickly disappeared into her room and Isak helped his mother clean up. Of course it didn't take two minutes for his mother to make a quiet noise next to him.  
  
"So, Even?" she asked and Isak rolled his eyes, conscious that his mother couldn't see him.  
  
"Yep" he said as confidently as possible and continued to dry the saucepan.  
  
"And who is he? I mean, how do you know him?" his mother now asked more clearly involved.  
  
But Isak was able to get through his plan a little longer, so he continued calmly. "He's just a friend of Jonas.“  
  
"Then why have I never seen him before? Why now and at night in front of our front door?“  
  
"Mum," Isak sighed. "He's harmless. He's really a nice guy actually."  
  
Isak was proud of his conscious words, which he found he had self-confidently recited. Only his mother still looked at him doubtfully and almost insecurely.  
  
"Don't you trust me?" he tried again.  
  
Now his mother's face got softer. "I trust you" she exhaled, "It's the other people I don't trust, Isak.“  
  
When his mother disappeared into her study, Isak made his way to his room. But when he stood in front of his door, he turned around again and walked a few steps back down the hall.  
  
Before he opened Lea's room door, he knocked three times.  
  
Lea lay cross-legged on her bed, her laptop balanced on her knees. She smiled at the screen, which could only mean that she was watching some love movie.  
  
She didn't give Isak a look, her full attention focused on the moving images in front of her. It was cute when her expression lighted up every now and then.  
  
Isak slowly walked over to her and lay down beside her, his legs stretched wide. He juggled with his phone and waited patiently until she was finished.  
  
When Lea's film was obviously over, she also lay down on her back and typed something on her phone.  
  
"You had no right to tell her that" Isak mumbled.  
  
Appalled, Lea looked up from her phone. "What, his name? Wow, Isak, should I have lied?“  
  
"Now she knows that you know him as well and will probably worry even more.“  
  
"Isak, he is not a criminal. He's just a year older than you, calm down.“  
  
"He's dangerous" Isak said way too defensive. "At least that's what she thinks.“  
  
"Really?" Lea smiled, "And what do you think about him?“  
  
Isak shrugged, "Not much“  
  
His sister gave him a disbelieving look, until he dramatically sighed.  
  
"He makes these races.“  
  
„So?"  
  
At that moment his mobile phone vibrated in his hand and a message from Jonas appeared on the display.  
  
  
**Jonas**  
I'm going to the harbour, will you come too?  
  
  
Isak looked at the clock. It was half past eight. During the week he would never go out now, except for an important reason maybe. But today was Friday and he certainly wouldn't be watching love films all night with his sister.  
  
He looked out of the window and it was still quite bright. It shouldn't be too warm outside, so it would be perfect to spend time outside.  
  
Isak exhaled quietly and then typed a quickly response onto his phone.  
  
  
**Isak**  
I'll be there  
  
  
Finally he locked his phone and looked at his sister, who gave him a encouraging smile.  
  
-  
  
He met with Jonas a few streets off the harbour so they could walk the rest of the way together. Jonas told him that his father had now confronted him with questions about his career after school and that he couldn't hardly wait to finally leave the house.  
  
Isak could understand him. Perhaps not for exactly the same reason, since no one in Isak's life thinks about his career more except himself, but he could understand the feeling of finally breaking out and the desire to have to distract himself.  
  
As always, there was a lot going on at the harbour, but Jonas quickly found the way that led them to the edge of the whole place. Mikael and Even sat next to each other around a fire flickering from a concrete bucket.  
  
Jonas walked to his boyfriend with a big smile and gave him a kiss that seemed so longing as if they hadn't seen each other for weeks.  
  
Isaks eyebrows rose but he didn't say anything. Instead he sat down beside his best friend.  
  
After a few moments he looked next to himself where Even sat a few feet beside him and grinned at him broadly.  
  
"Do I also get a kiss?"  
  
Isak rolled his eyes. "You wish"  
  
Even laughed and Isak had to force himself to look away again. Even was always so positive, optimistic. It was almost contagious. Almost.  
  
Isak rubbed his knuckles to distract himself and watched the other people around him.  
  
He would have expected Even not to remain silent for long and say anything to him. Whether it was a bad flirt or any other jibe, but to his own surprise it was he himself who broke the silence between them.  
  
"So, you live with your brother, huh?" he asked and immediately stiffens. It was not only him who started a conversation, but also him who wanted to know something so personal?  
  
God, he hoped he didn't came across as a complete stalker. Isak shouldn't even know that he has a brother, because Even hasn't told him anything about it yet.  
  
God, especially him, who doesn't like to talk about these things himself..  
  
Why did he ask that? Why didn't he think?  
  
"Sorry, I—„  
  
Even huffed a quietly laugh. "It's okay, Isak. I've been living with my brother for a long time. It's not exactly a secret.“  
  
Isak carefully stared at Even and didn't see any hurt on his face. No sadness, no angriness. It calms him down somehow. Relieved his stiffness.  
  
"But," Even started and oh god "I'd like to know how do _you_ know. Did you stalk me?" Even grinned and Isak didn't know how to react and what to say, so he just huffed out a quiet laugh and shook his head.  
  
Even lauged too but didn't ask further. This bad boy vibe was losing more and more of its meaning, Isak remarked.  
  
When he finally found his own voice again…  
  
"My sister told me, so yeah, you know."  
  
Even didn't answer. He offered him just a smile and Isak narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Don't you believe me?“  
  
"Of course I believe you" Even said seriously and Isak tried to discover if he wasn't really serious. It's not like they've known each other for a long time and know when the other lies and when not. And as if Even could read his thoughts…  
  
"But I think you're a bad liar, just so you know.“  
  
Isak gaped, "What!? I can- I mean, I'm very good at lying. And your opinion doesn't count here anyway, you can't judge that.“  
  
Even grinned and raised his brows. "You're lying about being able to lie right now and that's proof enough.“  
  
Isak snorted, "If you knew what I was capable of.“  
  
Evens expression softened and Isak glared at him.  
  
How is he.. so? Is he serious or is that a scam? A scam to hide something? God Isak hated that he couldn't judge whether Even is lying or not.  
  
"And you?" Even asked. "Do you only live with your mother?“  
  
"And Lea, my sister.“  
  
"And your father?  
  
Separately, divorced. What do I know.  
  
"He does not live with us." Isak answered and tried not to squirm too much.  
  
„Oh"  
  
Isak looked at Even briefly, and then away again, straight ahead. They're both quiet for a moment but in the end Isak found it ridiculous, so he continued.  
  
"My parents aren't as close as they used to be." he finally mumbled and then cleared his throat.  
  
"Since when not anymore?“  
  
"Since three years" Isak answered maybe a way too quickly.  
  
"What happened three years ago?" Even asked and Isak saw in his eyes that he didn't expect a bad answer. At least not too tragic, because he felt that Even meant well and had no bad intentions. If he knew more, he wouldn't have asked his last question so quickly, Isak was sure.  
  
Unfortunately it was something bad and tragic. If Isak would be honest with him, it was the worst and most tragic thing in his life.  
  
_They lost their son._  
  
The words flew through his head, but they didn't cross his lips.  
  
He was about to say something like 'Parents are just weird', but then Jonas drew attention to himself.  
  
"Hey you two, what are you talking about?" he asked and Isak was so grateful to have him next to him at that moment.  
  
"Nothing you could miss" Isak smiled.  
  
"Then I'll tell you some stories about us" Mikael announced, "and they will surely amuse you.“  
  
Even sighed, „Mikael."  
  
"Let me, Even. Look guys…"  
  
And then he told different stories from before when he and Even were fighting with others and that was also the reason why so many in town knew them and some were even afraid of them. While Jonas grinned at his boyfriend when Mikael told him how tough they were and who they had been messing with, Isak looked as unimpressed as he could.  
  
Then he turned to Even, "So you were violent once?“  
  
Unlike Mikael, Even didn't look proud but rather uninvolved, almost cold.  
  
"I got involved in some fights, yes. But it wasn't that these people didn't deserve it. It wasn't just some fight but more defense. Even if that's no excuse…"  
  
Even and fights could not be imagined by Isak at that moment. It seemed as if it didn't belong to his nature, but what did Isak know? All of a sudden Mikael groaned annoyed and turned even more to them in the direction, as if he was about to whisper a secret.  
  
"Even, Sonja runs after you all the time. I mean still..."  
  
Sonja? Isak had heard the name before.  
  
_'..but so far he had only one relationship. Sonja or something.' Lea had said._  
  
So Sonja was Evens ex girlfriend. Without thinking, Isak looked at the people around him until his gaze caught on a blond girl who had her eyes fixed on their small group. She must have stood more than 15 meters away, but Isak recognized her immediately on closer inspection.  
  
It was the girl who drove with Even in the last race.  
  
He let his gaze glide briefly over her until he turned back to Even who just stared unimpressed at the fire.  
  
Finally Even shrugged. "Well, yes. We are still friends, so.“  
  
Mikael snorted „Don’t you think she want something more than that? You have to talk to her at one point”  
  
Finally something stirred in Even and he sighed, „Don't you think I didn’t?"  
  
„Well, then be more direct and make your statement clearer. You're too nice, she thinks you don’t mean it.“  
  
Even run a hand over his face and actually looked pained.  
  
Next to them Jonas snuggled up at Mikael, clinging to his chest, which make Mikael giggle and Isak rolling his eyes.  
  
“I think maybe you should have someone go with you” Mikael said to Even, head steered to Isak. Isak narrowed his eyes at him.  
  
Even laughed. “Okay, I nominate you.” he said and grinned to Mikael.  
  
Mikael frowned. “I un-nominate me.”  
  
“Come on, it’ll be fine.” Even tried but Mikael kept up with shaking his head.  
  
“Why can’t Isak go?”  
  
Okay, why is he doing this?  
  
„What the actual fuck?“ Isak hissed, „I am not interfering in this love affair. Whether it exists or not.“  
  
„See“ Even smiled, “He's as cheeky as Sonja, it wouldn't go well.“  
  
Mikael looked at Isak, who was proudly smiling at him, and finally groaned. “Fine.”  
  
Even smiled and Jonas kissed Mikael cheek a few times, making him laugh and relax again.  
  
“You two are disgusting” Isak mumbled.  
  
“Don’t be jealous, Isak” Jonas joked but Isak didn’t laugh.  
  
"Just try to be open and relaxed" said Mikael while moving a finger between Isak and Even.  
  
Isak blushed. It was ridiculous. Mikael was ridiculous. _You have to try to be more open._ As if that were so easy.  
  
„Ah and Isak,“ Even chimed in, „the 'love affair' as you so beautifully said, certainly no longer exists. Trust me.“ And then he smiled and once again Isak didn't know what to say or do.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm motivated and the next chapter doesn't come as late as this one.. 
> 
> Keep letting me know what you think about it <33
> 
> You can find me here, by the way:
> 
>  
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/xoxo333_)
> 
>  
> 
>  


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Sorry I've been gone for a while.. but I am back with the third chapter! :) 
> 
> (This would be a mess without my amazing beta Cory, so thank you again!!)
> 
> Hope you like it <3

Isak noticed it in the last few days. It became a thing. The four of them hanging out.  
  
Without thinking about it he and Jonas met almost every day with the other two boys. Sure, Jonas was in a relationship with one of them and so it was natural that he would often see him. But for Isak it wasn't self-evident. But strangely enough he was almost always there, too.  
  
Even though he wasn't a big fan of Mikael and Even sometimes (always) surprised him with his direct, open and honest personality, Isak found himself at their side almost every day. But he didn't mind it and that was the frightening part.  
  
Sometimes he would lie in bed in the evening, rub his forehead and ask himself what had gotten into him. But he often told himself that all this was a diversion from learning, being in school or his mother.  
  
And it was true. It was a distraction, almost a pleasant one. It seemed to be simply uncomplicated in a way.  
  
When one evening he stomped exhausted up the stairs to his room, he found his sister there. She was lying on his bed, balancing her laptop on her lap. When he closed the door behind him, she looked up at him and smiled.  
  
"Long day?“  
  
"I guess you could say that," Isak said and fell on his bed next to her.  
  
Lea giggled and pressed gently her finger into his side, "Make sure you don't fall asleep. Wouldn't be the first time.“  
  
Isak sighed. "You're evil," he mumbled and you could barely decipher his words as his lips moved against the soft fabric of his pillow.  
  
"Go brush your teeth," Lea chuckled.  
  
Isak turned his head so that he could look his little sister in the eye. Then he slowly spelled „E-V-I-L".  
  
Lea laughed loudly and pulled out a cushion pressed behind her back and hit Isak on the head. "Hey, I'll make sure you don't wake up tomorrow with a dry mouth and unwashed teeth! You should thank me.“  
  
Isak groaned and hid his face deep in the soft pillow. "You're lucky not to be in your final year of school. It's exhausting.“  
  
"At least you'll be done soon and then you'll have a free choice of what you want to do afterwards." Lea snorted and she was right. Isak was happy to be relieved of his school duties soon and to finally intensify his interests at university. "Besides, you haven't been to school until now anyway. I'm sure you were out with Jonas and Even again.“  
  
Isak didn't see her but he was sure that she grinned.  
  
"Ah and Jonas' lover of course." Lea added.  
  
"Mikael," Isak sighed.  
  
Lea hummed. "I hope Jonas and you will introduce me to your sweethearts soon. I'm waiting desperately.“  
  
Isak turned his head and glared at her, but before he could say anything, Lea already beat him to it. "Yes, I know. You do not like Even. Blah, blah, blah.“  
  
Isak smiled and yawned into his pillow. He was much too tired, but still brought the words over his lips. "Please go to sleep soon, too."  
  
Lea said something but Isak couldn't decipher her answer. She seemed too quiet and already too far away. He closed his eyes.  
  
-  
  
He was exhausted when he finally arrived at the cafeteria the next afternoon.  
  
Of course he woke up with a dry, disgusting mouth this morning because he hadn't gone to the bathroom last night. Dammit. He could already imagine Lea's smug grin as soon as he got home.  
  
On top of that today he had all the subjects in which he had to work the most, norwegian and history. History, not because it was difficult (it was basically memorizing the material), but because one could not simply understand and apply the content but really had to learn. And Isak hated it. His favourite subjects were physics, biology and math. Here one had to understand and then the additional information was not difficult to learn, because one could understand and apply the procedures already logically.  
  
Norwegian class was also a pain in the ass, because you simply needed a talent for it, which Isak lacked. He had a hard time interpreting poems and all the school readings he had to read in his final class. And in order not to mess up his entire grade cut, he had to do a lot here, even if reluctantly.  
  
And that didn't make his day the best of the week so far.  
  
As he walked through the crowded hall with his food, he saw that Magnus and Mahdi were already sitting at one table, so he stomped to them. (On the way there, he swore he would definitely not do any of Magnus' math homework today.)  
  
„Okay, I’ve got two of my three,“ Magnus said, when he leaned back in his chair.  
  
Isak's inner voice told him not to ask, but still he heard himself say, „Two of your three what?“  
  
Magnus looked up at him and grinned, „Celebrities I’m allowed to sleep with.“  
  
„He gives this a lot of thought,“ Mahdi laughed but Magnus didn’t need long to defend himself.  
  
„Hey, it’s hard, okay? I only have one spot left!“  
  
Isak rolled his eyes, put his tray on the table and hung his jacket over the chair.  
  
„Who you got it narrowed down to?“ he asked although he couldn’t care less.  
  
„Okay first, Selena Gomez.“  
  
„He has a point. She’s very attractive,“ Mahdi said.  
  
„Exactly. And Kylie Jenner.“  
  
„Hmm. Too many plastic surgeries. She probably wouldn’t let you do it unless you made your nose a little smaller.“  
  
Magnus frowned, „What?! What is wrong with my nose?“  
  
„Nothing bro, I just mean that she'd look for something like that.“  
  
„That is bullshit.“  
  
„Whatever,“ Mahdi laughed, „They both are too international.“  
  
„So?“ Isak chimed in.  
  
Mahdi huffed, „They would never be around! So, you got to play the odds. Pick somebody who’s often in the country.“  
  
„Yeah, cause that’s why Magnus won’t get them — Geography.“ Isak mumbled and Mahdi burst into laugher.  
  
Magnus narrowed his eyes at them but he let it go.  
  
-  
  
After school Isak sat with Jonas, Mikael and Even at the harbour, a few school books balanced on his crossed legs. God, he even came here to study. Even if there was always something going on at the harbour and music was playing permanently, Isak could often concentrate better here than alone in his room or in school.  
  
The others talked about irrelevant matters and Isak tried to learn the linguistic means for interpretations, until at some point he felt the body next to him become restless.  
  
"So..." Even interrupted the silence.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Do you want to tell me a secret?“  
  
Isak looked up. "A secret," he deadpanned.  
  
"Yeah," Even laughed. "I'm sure you have some.“  
  
Isak sighed, "I'm not good at this.“  
  
„Telling secrets?“  
  
_Let people get too close to me._  
  
Isak sighed. "Even, I really don't know. I mean, I could think of something but.." he stuttered and felt his face began to blush. _Great._  
  
He stared at his feet and wished that he could sink into the fucking floor. Seriously, what was wrong with him?  
  
"Okay, okay." Even finally said. He must have noticed it was a futile attempt. "Doesn't matter. You don't have to tell me stuff.“  
  
Isak carefully looked up and observed that Even laid a hand on his own chest as he said, „I, for instance, write in a diary.“  
  
Isak blinked. „What?"  
  
"What do you mean what?"  
  
"Seriously? You keep a diary?"  
  
Even shrugged. "Yeah, why not?“  
  
And yeah, why not, Isak? Why are you surprised? It was Even they were talking about here.  
  
Finally he managed to shrug easily, "I just didn't know anyone was actually doing that these days.“  
  
"You know, if I don't write things down, I forget it. And memories are too important so…"  
  
"Oh," Isak said quietly. What if he had written in a diary back then? Every day a little summary of his thoughts, his experiences, his moments of happiness? Suddenly he could understand that it wasn't such a bad idea after all. Why had he never done it? All the memories with Ben in black and white. But it was clear to him that he was not the type for things like that, to write down such things. Collecting and understanding his feelings alone was often difficult enough. But somehow he now regretted not even having tried.  
  
He carefully cleared his throat, "When I was 14, I used to write a list with the things I would like to experience in my life.“  
  
Even face lit up. "Really? That's so cool!“  
  
Isak looked up and gave him a weak smile. He was sure it was definitely _not_ cool, but the fact that Even thought that it was made him smile somehow.  
  
"It really isn't. I haven't looked at the list in a long time. That was more of a thing from the past. There must be some weird stuff on it.“  
  
"Well, can I see it eventually?" Even asked but then froze, as if he knew he had crossed some line. "Only if you want, of course", he said quickly.  
  
"Sure, whatever." It wasn’t like there were extraordinary things written there. Things that would be embarrassing to him or something like that.  
  
Right? He had this list and what was on it was already completely forgotten. But didn't such a list look the same for almost all teenagers? Lots of travelling, inventing something new, becoming successful?  
  
Even smiled and nodded. And Isak was relieved. His shoulders felt lighter and he felt a sense of happy rush. For a moment it was quiet, again but then Even spoke up again, more quietly this time.  
  
"So, why did you tell your mother the first night that you were with Jonas?“  
  
And here it was again. The inexplicable nervousness and tension. Isak turned around to him. „What?"  
  
Even raised his eyebrows. "Did you really not understand me or…?“  
  
Yes, he did. But what should he answer?  
  
_Because my mother is worried sick. Because she has lost a son before._  
  
These were the first thoughts on Even’s question but Isak didn't answer. He frowned. Why did Even want to know something like that? Is it so important to him that Isak tells his mother the truth? But of course. Now that the two of them had started with secrets and serious conversations..  
  
Even looked at him with expectant blue eyes and Isak could see that he was about to take the question back. But before this happened, he shrugged. "Just that she's less worried," he said calmly but clenched his fists slightly.  
  
_Don’t push this, don’t push this, don’t push this_  
  
“That’s sweet,” Even said. “You’re sweet.”  
  
Isak eyed him for a moment, then huffed and bit the inside of his cheek. _I’m not._  
  
Even apparently noticed his tension, because he carefully elbowed him in the side. "Relax, Isak. But hey, I'd be happy if my mother would worry like that, you know."  
  
Isak frowned, "Why? What did--", then he stopped. Why would he ask that? Why did he want to question Even like that? "Never mind.“  
  
Even obviously didn't seem bothered by his curiosity, because he looked pretty calm when he answered Isak's incomplete question. "My parents left us when I was 11. So they didn't care what I was doing or where I was.“  
  
Isak went still. "I didn't know that," he finally said quietly. "And... that is why you were involved in some fights," he added as a matter of factly.  
  
Even paled and Isak immediately regretted his observation. "I was so angry, you know. I didn't know how to deal with my feelings anymore back then. There was just a lot going on for an eleven-year-old.“  
  
"But how— I mean, how—"  
  
"How did you get back to normal?" Even asked and laughed quietly.  
  
Isak grimaced. 'Normal' was maybe the wrong word.  
  
But Even didn't seem to disturb the choice of words. "My brother contributed a lot to it, he was 26 years old at the time. He raised me, so to speak, and finally got me back into the right track and put me back into the right place.“  
  
Yeah, big brothers do that. They are there for you when the others have long forgotten you. They help you where they can, even if you are difficult. Even if you are not worth it at all.  
  
Isak looked over to Jonas, who was busy making out with Mikael, then he turned back to Even. „Can I ask you something?”  
  
“Always,” Even answered immediately.  
  
“Why do you like me? I know I'm not exactly the charming, nice kid, so.. What do you like about me?“  
  
Even seemed to think for a moment, but then he said determined, „Your eyelashes.“  
  
„My eyelashes.”  
  
Even shrugged, “They are pretty long and you look cute with them. Like a little calf.”  
  
Isak choked on air. Then, after he calmed down he narrowed his eyes. “What?” My god, what kind of guy was Even?  
  
Even started to laugh and oh, this fucker, but then he gathered himself again and went on.  
  
„Your eyelashes _and_ your personality, of course,“ Even said confidently.  
  
„Wait, you like me for my personality?“ Isak said.  
  
„I know,“ Even dramatically sighed, „I was surprised too.“  
  
It took a moment and then Even bursted out into loud laugher. Isak couldn’t help it and joined him within a few seconds. Finally he lightly slapped Even on the knee, murmuring a quiet „Idiot.“  
  
Even knew it was only half-hearted, so he didn't stop laughing. But it wasn't bad, because Isak couldn't hold back either. He hid his face from shame between his hands.  
  
Even when Even stopped and pulled a joint out of his bag, Isak was still giggling and god, he couldn't stop. Even hadn’t ever seen him lose control like this.  
  
“You are incredibly endearing,” Even said and Isak waved him off, finally really trying to stop his laughter with a hand covering his mouth.  
  
“Okay, we understand it’s funny, do shut up,” Mikael called over to them.  
  
Isak gave him the finger, to which Mikael rolled his eyes.  
  
All in all, today wasn't too bad after all.  
  
-  
  
The drive to school the next day was quiet. Isak watched as always his surroundings from a half open window and Jonas hummed quietly to the music on the radio.  
  
Morning traffic was busy and stressful as usual, so Isak dared to close his eyes for a short moment to escape from the hustle and bustle. But it didn't take two minutes for Jonas to interrupt him.  
  
"Hm?" Isak murmured, "What did you say?“  
  
"You should sleep more at night," Jonas laughed, but Isak waved him off.  
  
"I'm fine.“  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Oh, before I forget, Julian asked for you. He literally questioned me. About you.“  
  
Isak turned to him, now he was clearly more awake. "What? Why?“  
  
Jonas shrugged, "Well, lately we've been often hanging out at the harbor and he barely sees us or rather _you_ anymore.“  
  
Isak sighed. It's not as if he'd done much with Julian in the past that it was a habit for them to always hang out or something. Julian was more like a school mate. But the way Jonas was looking at him, Isak knew what he was going for.  
  
"You know I was never interested in him. Not like this.“  
  
"Yes, but maybe you should make it obvious to him, too.“  
  
Isak thought about it. Actually, he had never really given Julian any hope, so why justify himself for his non-visible, non-existent feelings? But probably it would be better that way despite everything. He didn't want to create unnecessary problems.  
  
"I will," he finally said.  
  
Jonas nodded and cleared his throat. "So, yesterday…"  
  
"Hm..?" Isak hummed, his head on the headrest, his gaze out the window.  
  
"You and Even.“  
  
And at that Isak quickly pulled his head back, so fast that he heard his neck crack. "What about it?“  
  
Jonas glanced at him and arched an eyebrow. "I just realized that you and Even got along just fine, that it makes sense, the two of you," he smiled.  
  
Isak felt himself blush.  
  
Yes, maybe they make sense. But in a friendly way. Actually, it couldn't have ended much differently anyway. Mikael and Jonas are so often busy with themselves that Isak couldn't help but talk to Even eventually.  
  
So it was no longer a great deal to spend half an hour or longer talking alone with Even, right? So yes, they got along just fine. Yes, maybe they were even friends. Or at least something that gets very close to it.  
  
"Yes, I think he's all right," Isak said and then turned his gaze out of the window again.  
  
This reaction probably said Jonas that their conversation was over for now and Isak was grateful that he didn't have to think of anything for the rest of the ride.  
  
-  
  
"So, Jonas, who would you like to sleep with if you had the chance?“  
  
„What?“  
  
"Oh my god, not again,“ Isak sighed and Jonas’ eyebrows shot up.  
  
"No, no, don't listen to him, he is no fun! Just, name three celebrities you want to sleep with," Magnus chattered.  
  
"Hmm," Jonas looked thoughtful, "I don't know. But honestly I don't want to sleep with anybody except—„  
  
"Mikael. We know, you got game, blah, blah, ugh..." Mahdi said and took another bite of his waffle. But on the other side of the table, Magnus' eyes sparkled up.  
  
"Can we get to meet him someday?“  
  
Jonas laughed, "Sure! And then you’ve got to meet Even, his best friend. He is like really nice and chill.“  
  
Magnus almost knocked his drink over when he leaned over the table with his upper body, "What, really? That's so cool!“  
  
"My god, Mags, what's gotten into you?" Isak mumbled but Magnus didn't make a face and was actually beaming.  
  
"I've heard so much about Even that it would be so cool to meet him in person!“  
  
"Well, he is not _that_ great.“  
  
"He's pretty cool.“ Jonas grinned, "But Isak here often makes his life harder than it is.“  
  
Isak looked darkly at his best friend. Mahdi looked alternately at Jonas and Isak, frowning.  
  
"Wait, so..." Magnus muttered. "... Even likes Isak?“  
  
"No." Isak immediately said, at the same time Jonas said „Sure." so of course Magnus listened to his best friend and then looked at Isak hopefully.  
  
Isak gave him a blank look and didn't turn his eyes away. He was good at that game. His plan worked and after not even half a minute, Magnus sighed and continued eating his lunch.  
  
After five minutes of everyone eating and nobody saying anything, Isak almost felt bad that he was the one who had slowed Magnus' joy. He emptied his plate and then pushed his tray aside.  
  
"Why didn't you ask me?" Six eyes looked at him confused. "What are _my_ three celebrities I can sleep with if I had the chance?“  
  
And in no time Magnus was fully in his element again and showered Isak with the names of singers, actors and models. Isak shook his head to all the names.  
  
"Isak, just tell us the three you chose," Jonas laughed.  
  
"Please. Although I'd like to find out when Magnus runs out of names of male celebrities," Mahdi giggled.  
  
"Never," Magnus winked.  
  
"Okay, okay," Isak laughed, "So the first one is Leonardo DiCaprio.“  
  
"Yeah, I would sleep with him too," Jonas said dreamily.  
  
"I thought you had a boyfriend which satisfied all your fantasies," Magnus said and Jonas slightly blushed.  
  
"Number two is Christian Bale.“  
  
"Yeah, Batman!" Mahdi said.  
  
"I think I would take him too, but only if I could drive one of his cars,“ Magnus said.  
  
Isak rolled his eyes and added, "And the last one is Johnny Depp.“  
  
"What?!" Magnus shrieked, "Are you serious? Isn't he in his mid-fifties?“  
  
"Who cares," Jonas said, and Isak nodded.  
  
"Exactly. And I really liked his look in ‚Pirates of the Caribbean‘.“  
  
Mahdi laughed, "With all the eyeliner and stuff?“  
  
"Yeah, it's kinda hot," Isak said.  
  
Magnus pulled his face, and Jonas and Mahdi laughed out loud.  
  
"Well, at least now I understand why Isak doesn't want Even," Magnus mumbled and ducked just in time when a fork was thrown at him.  
  
-  
  
Isak was surprised when he saw Even after school, leaning casually against a tree waiting for him. Normally they met at the harbour or somewhere in the city but always in their group of four.  
  
Since Even didn't see him yet, Isak took the time to take a closer look at him. He had to admit to himself that yes, objectively Even looked damn good with his brown, styled hair, which nevertheless looked soft.  
  
Isak suddenly had the urge to stroke his fingers through Even’s hair. He clenched his hands into fists to suppress this tingling in his fingertips.  
  
Actually it was unfair to look like that. Especially on such a warm day as today. Most of the students wiped their sweaty hair from their foreheads, put their hooded jackets over their heads to avoid the sun and looked as stupid as they probably felt.  
  
Even, on the other hand, stood in the shade under a tree, his leg slightly bent. With sunglasses that slipped down a little and a leather jacket that he threw over his shoulder.  
  
Even sucked.  
  
As Isak walked slowly over the schoolyard, suddenly a firm grip grabbed his shoulder and he instinctively turned around. To... Julian.  
  
"School finished?“  
  
"Um, yes.“  
  
"Me too. Wanna hang out?" His tone was nearly harsh and Isak had a feeling where that came from.  
  
"Listen Julian," Isak sighed, "I don't know if you... I mean, I'm not... I didn't want to—„  
  
Julian laughed, "What, Isak?“  
  
Isak didn't know what to say so he wouldn't look like a complete asshole. He wondered what the right words would be to tell Julian clearly that he had no interest in more than simple friendship, but would still not hurt him too much. He should have prepared himself better for this conversation, dammit. Perhaps it would be best to simply—  
  
"Is it because of this guy?“  
  
Isak's head shot up, „Huh?"  
  
„Even."  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes, "What about him?" And how did Julian know his name?  
  
Probably because of Even's reputation, which was well known all over this city. Isak was hardly surprised any more.  
  
"Are you two together?“  
  
"What? No!“  
  
"Then why do I see him here so often?“  
  
Isak shrugged. "Jonas is together with a friend of his, so... He is okay, you know.“  
  
Julian observed him for a moment and finally snorted, "Sure he is."  
  
"Listen, Julian. I'm sorry if I gave you any hope or something, but.. you were never more than a friend to me, okay? So, I have no problem with _this_ , just how it is now, but this will never be something more," Isak said and was kind of proud of his steady voice.  
  
He tried to figure out what Julian must think now. When he didn't come to an decision, he looked to the street. Even was still standing there waiting patiently for him. Now he had definitely noticed Isak, because he watched him intently.  
  
"Listen, I have to go, okay?" Isak said, but Julian still didn't say anything. Isak walked awkwardly past him but then Julian grabbed him hard on the arm and pulled him back.  
  
"You'll never find someone like me again," Julian said slowly, nearly growling.  
  
Isak was startled and felt totally aback. "Fuck, let off of me!" he hissed and Julian frowned, immediately took his hand away. "Sorry, fuck! Isak, I didn’t—. I'm sorry." He looked like he was really sorry but Isak didn't care at that moment.  
  
"You know what? I fucking hope so," he said finally and waited until Julian realized that his answer belonged to his "you'll never find some like me again" bullshit.  
  
Then, finally, Isak walked over the courtyard towards Even. He felt Julian's confused eyes following him but didn't care.  
  
"Are you okay?" Was the first thing Even asked, when Isak stood next to him.  
  
„Yes," Isak answered. He was a bit out of breath and knew it wasn't from the walk over but from the heated conversation with Julian.  
  
Obviously Even was not satisfied with his answer, because Isak could feel his tension.  
  
“What, Even?“  
  
"Did he hurt you?"  
  
Isak turned around to him in surprise. "What, who?“  
  
"Julian." 

Isak continued to stare at him in complete amazement. "What? How do you know his—„  
  
"Are you shutting yourself off because of him?" Even asked, and Isak slowly got nauseous. He just tried to ignore the last question.  
  
"He is not important enough to me to hurt me," he said quietly, and Even watched his face carefully, probably to find out if he was lying.  
  
It seemed Even was convinced because finally he gave a little smile, "Okay. I'm glad."   
  
Sometimes Isak didn't understand him at all.  
  
He didn't know what to answer to this and just tried to shrug easily when he remembered his first thought, "What are you even doing here?“  
  
Now Even's smiled widened, "I'm driving you home.“  
  
Isak narrowed his eyes. "How did you even know when I was out today?“  
  
"Jonas is already at the harbour with Mikael, and he said you had longer classes today," Even said. When Isak didn't say anything, he continued "And then I thought I'd pick you up from school and drive you home.“  
  
"Obviously," Isak mumbled and walked towards the parking lots, his decision to go with Even long since made. 

In a second Even was right next to him, and Isak could swear that a big grin was spread over his face.  
  
-  
  
On Friday evening Isak had dinner with Lea and his mother before he wanted to meet the others at the harbour. Jonas wrote him the message, „We'll meet tonight at eight.“ It wasn't even a question, just a fact. But Isak did not protest.  
  
He was glad that his mother hadn't talked to him about Even for at least a week and also didn't ask him anything else about it.  
  
Lea ate her pasta happily, probably because she had plans tonight and this time they were accepted. This was probably be caused by the fact that it was not a party but just a film marathon with friends. However, Isak was relieved that his sister could start the weekend without any troubles.  
  
When he looked from his sister to his mother, she gave him a little smile before she put more sauce on her plate. "How are things at school, Isak?“  
  
"Quite well. So far I am satisfied," he said and then began eating too.  
  
"That's good. Because well, that certificate is probably the most important thing in your school career.“  
  
Isak wanted to sigh loudly but decided it would be better for everyone to go the easy way. "I know, mum.“  
  
"You have to apply with that certificate. Have you already informed yourself about the universities? I think—„  
  
"Mum," Isak warned and was grateful that his mother got the hint and stopped. He wasn't in the mood to think about his detailed plans for the future tonight.  
  
"Anyway, how's it going with Julian?“  
  
„Hm?“  
  
Also Lea seemed to be confused about this. She lifted her head off her plate and looked at Isak questioningly. "Who's Julian?“  
  
"Some guy from school," Isak explained to her.  
  
"Well, not just some guy," his mother laughed. "He is the son from Lydia and Paul Dahl. A really great family!“  
  
"You mean a family with a lot of money and a good reputation," Lea mused, and their mother shot her a dark glare.  
  
"It's not bad when people think good of you. And I'm sure Julian is a very nice boy. You see him now and then in school, don't you?" she asked and looked hopefully at Isak.  
  
Isak could imagine his mother already planning their wedding in her head. "Yes, I see him sometimes, but I don't do much with him.“  
  
His mother seemed to be disappointed at first, but then her eyes lit up, "Maybe I can arrange a meeting? That would be so great, Isak! I'm sure Lydia would love that too—„  
  
Isak was horrified. "No, mum! God, please don't."  
  
Fuck, that went far too fast.  
  
It seemed like his mother was seriously thinking about it, but in the end she shook her head, "You're right.“  
  
Lea giggled next to him and Isak considered throwing a noodle at her, secretly aiming at her forehead.  
  
"But I will invite him to your birthday!" his mother said happy and began basically planning his birthday.  
  
Isak sighed and ate the rest of his spaghetti.  
  
-  
  
Yes, he was half an hour early but Isak couldn't stand it at home anymore. He had done his homework, learned for an exam and was now standing behind a wall at the harbour watching Even, who had his back to him and doing his pull-ups on a iron bar.  
  
Isak's chest felt unusually warm and he became slightly dizzy. The summer heat obviously didn't do him any good.  
  
He straightened up and finally headed towards Even. There were other people too, but everyone was busy with something different. Isak appreciated it. Here you could do what you want without feeling watched.  
  
Of course as soon as Isak stood behind him, watched his moving back muscles in silence, Even noticed him. Obviously _Even_ felt quite observed, but Isak thought he wouldn't mind.  
  
After a few more pull-ups, Even changed his position so he could stare at Isak and carry on his stupid muscle training. Junkie.  
  
"Do you want to train with me?" Even asked, not even slightly out off breath.  
  
Fascinated, Isak slowly shook his head.  
  
_Definitely not_ was what he immediately wanted to say, but that was too easy. He observed that Even enjoyed teasing him, so he thought twice before answering.  
  
"I exercised once, but found out I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. It was very dangerous, you know.“  
  
Strangely enough, Even smiled at that. "Well, that would be a description of exercising or sex. Are you allergic to sex too, Isak?“  
  
Isak opened his mouth and then closed it again. He narrowed his eyes. Just as he was about to open his mouth again, Even beat him to it.  
  
"Not so quick-witted, huh?" he grinned and oh, fuck him.  
  
„Fuck off," Isak hissed, but it sounded harmless and of course Even just laughed. As much as Isak wanted to hide his emotions, he couldn't help but chuckle himself.  
  
"Oh my god, are you laughing? Did I just make Isak Valtersen laugh?“  
  
Isak rolled his eyes and breathed out a quiet laugh, "Shut up.“  
  
"Make me," Even winked and ok, he was a dumbass. 

"You are a dumbass.“  
  
"A dumbass that makes you laugh," Even said proudly and released his hands from the iron bar to drop with his body onto the hard asphalt.  
  
Then he took two short steps forward and suddenly ran gently his index finger down Isak's cheek. Isak tensed under his touch, but didn't pull away or ask Even to stop.  
  
"Do you ever relax?" Even murmured, and Isak stared at him. He tried to breathe slowly and bit his inner cheek. The spot Even traced with his fingertips burned a little.  
  
"You look cute when you have nothing to say you know.“  
  
Isak couldn't take him serious. He didn't want to go into it any further and tried to counter. "So you don't like it when I say something, hm? Because I'm not cute anymore?“  
  
Even shook his head. "No. When you talk, convinced and full self-confidence, I don't think you're sweet but hot."  
  
Isak startled, "What are—„  
  
"So incredibly hot, my god. I can't put it into words.“  
  
„Even!"  
  
Even's grin became bigger and bigger, and Isak could see light glittering blue in his eyes.  
  
How can eyes shine so much? Have his eyes own ever been so glowing? Maybe three years ago.  
  
„So, when do the others come?“  
  
Even narrowed his eyes, "Mikael and Jonas? They're already ahead.“  
  
"What do you mean, they're already ahead? They aren't coming?“  
  
"They are already at the cinema I think.“  
  
„Cinema?"  
  
"Yes. I've been waiting for you and now that you're here, we can go. Come on.“  
  
"But I—„  
  
"Don't forget to hold on tight,“ Even smirked and suddenly all Isak's worries were like blown away and he eagerly went with Even to his motorcycle.  
  
-  
  
When they finally arrived at the cinema, Mikael gave them an unimpressed look, while Jonas Isak grinned and threw his arm over Isak's shoulder.  
  
"What are we watching?“  
  
"Some comedy," Jonas said and Isak sighed dramatically.  
  
It took Mikael about fifteen minutes to decide whether to eat popcorn or nachos.  
  
"Can you fucking hurry up?" Isak asked impatiently.  
  
"The movie doesn't start for another ten minutes!" Mikael hissed and rolled his eyes but finally walked to a desk to order something. Jonas followed his boyfriend after he threw a grin at Isak. Isak snorted. What a devoted fool his best friend was.  
  
Isak noticed how quiet Even was next to him. He could literally feel his eyes drilling into his temple. Even just stared at him without saying anything.  
  
Finally Isak stared back and rolled his eyes, „What?"  
  
"You should work on that personality of yours," Even smiled.  
  
"I thought you liked my personality" Isak countered. After a pause, "Believe me, if I were someone else I wouldn't want to be friends with myself either." He wondered after all why Jonas was his friend for all this years.  
  
Even's features became more serious after a brief moment, "Good thing I think differently.“  
  
Isak couldn't help but stare at Even. "Why are you still here? I'm a fucking bitch you know," he laughed, but it didn't sound as certain as he wanted it to.  
  
Of course Even noticed and just smiled before he reached out and gently squeezed Isak's shoulder. "You actually are.“  
  
Isak carefully studied his face before smiling broadly. "Thats me. The nicest rude person ever.“  
  
"If your life were a movie, that would definitely be the title," Even proudly said, still with his palm on Isak, but now on his left shoulder blade. The hand was warm and gentle. Isak noticed that it wasn't just lying there, but drawing small circles that surprisingly calmed him.  
  
„Nevertheless you are right. I’m definitely thinking about strangling you on a semi-regular basis,” Even said and Isak winked at him.  
  
“I will take that as a compliment.”  
  
“Yeah,” Even laughed. “I figured you would.”  
  
Isak thought the movie was garbage. It was neither funny nor entertaining. There was even a monkey in the movie, which made Isak's eyes narrow even if nobody could see it. When he went home later, he would write an angry email to inform those movie people about that stupid decision. Animals should not be used to entertain people, dammit.  
  
Jonas to the left of him probably didn't see much of the movie either, because he was turned towards Mikael the entire time.  
  
Even was right next to him, and Isak wondered why he didn't want to sit next to his best friend. Probably he wanted to sit as far away from the two lovebirds as possible. Isak couldn't blame him.  
  
He wondered if Even was watching the movie. Would he like something like that? Isak tried to look inconspicuously to the right and all he could see was the calm form of Even. He even crossed one leg over the other. How can one always be so calm?  
  
Isak shifted around in his seat, as it slowly became uncomfortable sitting for so long in the chair. He wondered how long the movie would last, but then Even suddenly put his left elbow on his armrest, slowly stretched out his entire arm and clung to the end of the armrest with his fingertips.  
  
His fingers were now damn close to Isak's, who suddenly couldn't feel his own arm anymore. Probably because he lay motionless on that armrest since the beginning of this fucking movie.  
  
Isak deeply breathed in and out, but then Even's little finger touched Isak's and from one second to the next his heart beat twice as fast. He looked around to Jonas, who of course hadn't noticed his state.  
  
Even kept his finger pressed against Isak's and made no effort to retreat. Isak's chest felt so warm and his neck felt so dry that he had to swallow hard. How could a single finger feel so good?  
  
Without moving his finger, he tried to concentrate on the movie. But then Even lifted his finger, laid it gently on Isak's and clasped it.  
  
Isak's gasped for breath and bit his lip. He didn't know that pinkie touching could be so intense. But he liked the feeling. He liked it a lot. He hoped Even wouldn't question him, because Isak didn't want to describe this feeling at all. He didn't want to reveal this weakness. Especially not in front of Even.  
  
But what he wanted even less was to pull his finger back, so both sat there for the rest of the film, clutching their small fingers.  
  
As they walked out of the movie theater, Isak had to blink a few times to get his eyes used to the sudden and unfamiliar brightness.  
  
Jonas suggested something to eat at the cinema, and Isak more than agreed. Finally he could give something to his dull stomach for a change.  
  
As soon as they arrived at a table, Jonas and Mikael talked about the film without a break. Isak didn't listen because he had other things to do at the moment like regulate his breathing.  
  
Even, who was sitting opposite him, didn't seem to take part in the conversation either, because he had his eyes on Isak only.  
  
Isak couldn't look Even in the eyes for long, and he tried to distract himself with thinking of anything other than this damn nervous feeling.  
  
What should he eat? God, his chest was still completely warm.  
  
"What do you think, Isak?" Jonas asked suddenly.  
  
Isak turned to him and looked at his best friend questioningly, who was obviously very confused and frowned.  
  
„What?"  
  
"I've asked you twice what you thought about the movie," Jonas chuckled. "Is everything okay?“  
  
"Yeah, um, sure. I didn't like the movie.“  
  
"Why?" Mikael asked, and Isak glared at him. He was not surprised that _he_ actually liked this kind of movie.  
  
"Because it wasn't funny, and the animals have to suffer in these shitty movies.“  
  
Mikael loudly snorted, "That was a monkey doing normal things, my goodness.“  
  
When Jonas gave him a serious look, Mikael cleared his throat. "I mean, the monkey didn't have to do anything bad or dangerous, right?“  
  
Isak rolled his eyes, "That's not the point. He was forced to do it for the movie. None of it was voluntary. There is a company that kidnaps animals from their habitats and from their families so that they can train them with electric shocks and punches to play some fucking scenes in a stupid movie.“  
  
Suddenly everyone was quiet. Isak's heart was racing and he didn't know what exactly was causing it anymore. He felt damn uncomfortable and just wanted to get out and home. He shouldn't always get too involved in things like this.  
  
"Wow, thats really shitty,“ Even said eventually, and that was actually the first thing he had said since leaving the cinema.  
  
"It is," Isak quietly said and dared to look at him briefly. Even looked at him calmly. No smile or grin. He just looked at him, and Isak looked back.  
  
Jonas cleared his throat next to him and laughed quietly, "You two must know that Isak here often deals with the subject of animal suffering and what it all brings with it. And he's right, there are some things that aren't going so well.“  
  
Isak was more than grateful when a waitress came up to them with the menus and he finally found his normal breathing again.  
  
After dinner, Jonas and Mikael said goodbye before walking away together. Jonas gave him a firm hug and a smile before he left Isak alone in front of the building with Even.  
  
It didn't surprise Isak that Even offered to take him home by his motorcycle. What surprised him, however, was that he heard that Even's voice was a little quieter and more nervous than usual.  
  
The ride was quiet. For more grip Isak clung to a bracket behind him. He didn't know how his body would react if he touched Even now. Maybe he would even tremble and he had no idea how to explain that, so on the way home he tried to keep his breath calm and enjoy the cool air on his skin.  
  
A few meters before the entrance to the gate, Even stopped and Isak carefully got off the bike. He handed Even the helmet and cleared his throat, "Well...thanks for the ride home."  
  
"You're welcome," Even said quietly but steadily.  
  
Isak didn't know what to say and just nodded to him. Since when were they so nonverbal?  
  
It seemed that Even also had nothing to say, and Isak was just about to turn around and walk into the house, but then Even laughed quietly.  
  
„So.. Johnny Depp, huh?"  
  
Isak stared at him and had to process the words until he found out what they meant. When it clicked, he rolled his eyes. Sometimes he really hated Jonas.  
  
"Should I buy eyeliner?" Even asked and he looked so damn smug that Isak couldn't hold himself back and pushed him with his hand on the shoulder.  
  
"Stop it!“  
  
Even laughed at that and innocently held his hands in the air.  
  
They were silent for a moment before Even murmured, "I would, you know.“  
  
Isak bit his inner cheeks, "I have no words for you.“  
  
"None at all?" Even grinned.  
  
"Unbelievable. Unbelievable is the word.“  
  
Even looked more than satisfied with that answer and said in a serious tone, "You know, I can perfectly live with that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think, no matter what it is <33


End file.
